Ottawa received two big snowstorms last week, including over the weekend, making me feel almost trapped in my place. Also, only one elevator has worked in my building for at least the last three weeks.
To be fair, it hasn’t been a real issue for me, but I still consider it another obstacle to overcome. Also, a voice in my head tells me what happens if the elevator breaks down while I’m coming home.
Some of you may recall hearing about two elevators that went down in another building a while ago. Several people with disabilities in that building were stuck in their apartments and the lobby for several days. If memory serves me right, one person had to spend a few days at another person’s home.
It was a mess. Local media did a story on it, and I also wrote about it.
Most people take elevators for granted, but we don’t have a choice. If an elevator breaks down, people with disabilities and seniors are stuck wherever they happen to be, including in the elevator, which is scary. Add to that, what if they have a medical condition or an emergency?
As a person with a disability and anxiety, I’ve been feeling anxious about the ongoing issue in my building. I also worry about the safety of my friends here.
Now, to add to that, all of the snow makes it harder to get around.
As I’ve mentioned countless times, the city forces me to hibernate most of the winter due to poor snow clearing on sidewalks, especially where it meets the road.
Of course, there’s the cold as well. My hands have become worse as far as being sensitive to cold temperatures. That’s a ‘me problem’, though.
All of those issues combined leave me feeling stuck at home.
When that happens, my mind tends to wander and sometimes even spiral.
Yes, I’m still meditating and trying to focus on positive thoughts daily. I also remember to show gratitude for all the good things in my life, such as my true friends and the tremendous support I get from them. I’m also trying to avoid social media, except on Mondays.
My articles typically come out on Mondays, so I log in to Facebook and X to post my articles or re-X it — that sounds weird.
Anyways, I check the comments on my articles and respond. The rest of the week is spent chatting on Messenger.
I would love to attend more events and meet people, but the cold and lack of snow clearing significantly affect my ability to get around.
Thankfully, I can use my computer to stay in touch with people, watch movies, read, or listen to music.
Sometimes it’s nice to stay in and try at least to relax. It can also get lonely at times, though. I have no shame in admitting that. There have been times when I’ve been in crowds, with friends, or with a partner, and I’ve felt lonely.
For me, it comes down to feeling connected. I need to feel connected to people and my environment. I have a solid connection to my friends and my community.
Regarding personal relationships, I’ve had a few that weren’t very healthy and even toxic. If we’re not connecting, it’s easy to feel lonely.
I don’t consider being lonely as a bad thing. I’ve had much time to think, learn about interesting topics, and explore new ones.
Winter’s tough for me, both mentally and physically. The older I get, the tougher it is.
. . . But . . . . so am I.
By the time spring rolls around, I’ll be ready to get outside, get some fresh air, and enjoy nature.
As long as I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, I’ll be okay.
And when I’m not okay, that’s okay too.
After all, we’re all human and have our own struggles.
Until next week, stay safe and keep rolling.