As a person with anxiety, I often get anxious about writing. Specific questions rush my mind, sometimes affecting my body and writing.
– What message am I trying to send?
– Will others understand it?
– What if I am misunderstood?
– Will people get the point, and perhaps my humour?
– Will someone get offended? (Yes, probably)
– Will someone try to correct me or randomly bring religion into it?
– Did I write something that I’ll later regret?
– Will I attract the wrong people?
All these questions and more creep into my mind as I write, especially on social media.
Social media is something we hate, yet we crave. It’s the attention, an outlet to express ourselves or a hidden version. I could go on and on about how social media can be a drug, and we’re staring at a screen, jonesing for our next hit.
This is what we’ve become. We’d rather connect with people online than in real life. I’m guilty of this as well. It’s mainly because my speech can be hard to understand, so it’s easier for me to type it out.
There’s also the fact that I’m a writer, which comes in handy.
The thing about anxiety is it follows you everywhere, including in public, which recently happened to me.
Last week, I went to see the “vampires” for more blood work. I woke up anxious because my doctor said he may have seen something on my previous blood work.
It was cold outside on this particular day, so I planned and booked Para Transpo. My ride arrived thirty minutes later than I had booked, and to top it off, their online GPS wasn’t working. I didn’t know when it would come, so I sat in my lobby, which was cold.
Thankfully, the ride wasn’t long, but it added to my anxiety,
Para Transpo should prioritize those bookings first regarding medical appointments or anything medical-related.
After I got off the Para Transpo bus, I went inside to register and wait for my turn.
When my name was called, I went into the booth, which was tight.
It took three different people just to find a vein. The first person was scared to touch me. She quickly gave up after looking and feeling my arms and sent a different person to do it. The following person did the same thing but held out a little longer. The third person was the charm. She looked at my right arm, felt one or two spots, and dove right in.
As I noted earlier, the first two vampires were scared to touch me, and I felt their energy, which frustrated me.
If you decide to work in the medical field, you should be prepared to interact with various people and situations.
While all that was happening, I could feel my body tense up. I could also feel my heart racing, as well as my mind. All I wanted to do was go home. I didn’t want to be around anyone.
So, I left right away and froze, rolling home.
I just wanted to be alone and relax.
I had an anxiety attack. Anxiety attacks can be scary. They can often feel like a heart attack. You also tend to lose control of your body and mind.
As soon as I got home, I put on some music and watched TV. I was exhausted, and my mind felt blank. For the rest of the day, I just zoned out.
Some of you might be wondering what you can do to avoid anxiety attacks. There’s no cure for anxiety attacks, but you can try to prevent them. Anxiety attacks usually happen when you feel stressed out or feel overwhelmed.
There are many ways to cope with anxiety attacks after and while they’re happening.
– Breathe deeply and calmly.
– Talk to someone you trust if you’re able to.
– If you’re in public, try to find a place to calm down and get away from people.
– Close your eyes, picture yourself in your happy place, surrounded by things and people that make you feel good.
– If possible, listen to music or a podcast.
Anxiety attacks aren’t a sign of weakness or anything to be ashamed of. They’re reminding you that your system might be overloaded, and you must take time to do a factory reset.
The best thing you can do is pay attention and recognize when you feel overwhelmed. And remember, it’s okay to say no to invites and anything you have planned. After all, we’re humans, not robots.
Until next week, stay safe and keep on rolling.
