Relationships aren't always an easy feat, especially when you're trying to find the right person and continually coming up empty. Unfortunately, it seems like the more you try to find someone to complete your life, the harder it is to find anyone. Despite the promises of "more fish in the sea," it seems like no one you meet is compatible, available, or ready to take the next step with you.
If you've been trying to find the perfect relationship, don't panic. Here are seven steps to help you find the ideal relationship:
Understand what you're looking for
Before jumping on to every dating platform you can find and throwing yourself at people you know aren't compatible, take a step back and try to determine what you're looking for in a relationship and a partner. Maybe you're looking for a casual date to fill your Saturday night boredom. Perhaps you'd like to find a Sugar Daddy in Vancouver. What if you're looking to find your knight in shining armor that completes the best version of you. And all of those answers are entirely okay
Before heading out on dates, define what the relationship looks like with the following questions:
– Am I wanting commitment from a partner?
– How often do I want to see this person?
– What personality traits are essential to me?
– Do I have any location preferences?
– Should my partner be monogamous?
– Is there an age bracket I'd like to date?
Getting a baseline for your dating preferences can serve as your guideline when talking to new people. If there's something important to you (for example, never been married) and the person is looking for their fourth ex-wife, end the conversation.
Start trusting your gut instinct.
The gut instinct is a real thing and is relatively wise on how you interact with people. Start trusting yourself to make informed and educated decisions about your relationship and stop asking others. When you start letting other people influence your choices (whether physically or based on details you share with them), you're removing yourself from the dynamic.
Stop Trying to Impress People
People have a weird narrative when dating someone that places them as the performer and entertainer throughout the night. Far too often, people ask, "I wonder if they like me" and "am I good enough for them?" The trick is reversing that monologue to outward reflection. Instead of asking if you're good enough for someone, try decoding whether someone is good enough for you. Ask yourself whether you genuinely like them, or you're just trying to win their affection.
Let Go of the Wrong People
Part of dating is finding the right person, but a more significant portion has to deal with the wrong people we come across. We force ourselves to overlook someone with red flags, deal breakers, or simply someone we know isn't a good fit. Too many people would rather be unhappy with the wrong person than be happy as a single individual. If you recognize that someone isn't a good fit for your life, let them go. Don't continue to force something you don't see progressing.
Stop Blocking People Out
When we've been hurt, we tend to put up emotional walls to hide our vulnerability. We want to protect ourselves from feeling the same sense of anger, betrayal, or sadness. Blocking people out doesn't work long-term. It simply makes it harder for emotional connections to form and prevents you from forming authentic relationships with others. Try to remember that the new person you're meeting isn't the one that caused the hurt or trauma.
This doesn't mean you have to overshare while on dates; matching the level of disclosure can go a long way. Ask genuine questions about the person you're with and try to be open with your responses. Holding back from conversation can be frustrating for the recipient, especially if they're genuinely interested in you.
Identify Any Major Deal Breakers and Stick to Them
Everyone is going to bring some emotional damage with them to new relationships. The trick to navigating the dating realm is to know your limitations. If you're uncomfortable dating someone with a criminal record, ask them. Maybe you can't handle the thought of dating a single parent. Whatever the deal breakers are, make sure that your potential partner is aware of them from the start. It will save you both headaches down the road when they come up unannounced.
Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Although everyone has a routine they enjoy, occasionally pushing that boundary is healthy. This includes the dating aspect of your life. If you're known for having a type you date, assess whether it's a physical attraction or a mental connection. Reach beyond your typical attributes to find new partners. If you enjoy dating people your age, push the limit with an age difference. If you're willing to try a new relationship dynamic, consider registering with sugardaddy.com. The idea is to stretch beyond your comfort to try something out of the ordinary. When you become predictable in life, you miss out on different opportunities you might want. This includes meeting new people, trying new foods, or discovering other areas of town.
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