The news of a caregiver quitting is typically not the best news to hear. An example of when it may be good to hear is if they’re not good at their job, or there’s a clash of personalities between you and them. Of course, there are several more reasons why it may not be bad for you if they’re leaving. For now, though, I want to discuss something that recently happened to me, which has happened to others who rely on nurses, PSW, and caregivers in general.
Last week, I received a phone call from one of the care agencies that provide me with PSW. The agency called to inform me that one of my PSW had abruptly quit five minutes after leaving my place.
When I first heard this, I went through a series of emotions and thoughts. My first thought was trying to figure out if I had done or said something to upset them. That particular day was pretty typical and very quiet. We also seemed to be forming an excellent professional relationship. I was baffled.
Quickly after that, I became frustrated, hurt, and even scared/anxious. As I’ve mentioned here before, I have anxiety. In this case, my anxiety went through the roof due to them quitting and realizing that I now only had two PSW left. For me, that’s a dangerously low number considering the number of hours that I need them for.
Also, if I don’t have enough staff, my only other option is to go to the hospital. If you read my article last week, you’ll see why it’s not a safe option, especially during a pandemic.
When my PSW left that day, they said that they’d see me tomorrow. Naturally, I thought that everything was fine and that I’d see them tomorrow. My initial thought was, why did they lie to me? I quickly reminded myself that life could change in an instant.
I know that pretty damn well, but when you’re in that moment, you sometimes can’t think clearly.
During that phone call, I was quickly assured that they didn’t leave because of anything I said or did. I also found out that some of my previous PSW are returning to help out, and as of now, I’m scheduled to meet with a new PSW this week to see if they’re interested in working with me.
So why did the PSW quit right after their shift?
I don’t have an official reason. Based on my experiences, I can venture a few guesses.
The idea of caring for someone on a ventilator can be overwhelming. While typically, nothing serious ever really happens, a chance does exist. One of their training shifts did take place right after my trip to the ER. Maybe that scared them after they thought about it. Another possibility could be that they weren’t comfortable working one on one for eight hours at a time. Most that have PSW, they may only need help for a few minutes or a few hours a day.
Some PSW and people, in general, have a preconceived idea about people with disabilities and what a PSW does during their shift. Perhaps they had this idea that all I do is stay home, and they’d have a lot of downtime. While I haven’t been out much, it’s due to the pandemic. Perhaps they were uncomfortable when they realized that I go to the bathroom and they’ll need to clean me up.
Maybe they got a new job. A job that paid more and didn’t know or have time to quit appropriately, including how to tell you.
4. Family Emergency —
Perhaps a family member became sick, and they need to be there.
It could be any number of reasons. Yes, it does suck for me, but life rolls on. The good thing about this is that people could come up with a plan that makes me feel safe and more at ease.
When something like this happens, it’s important to try not to take it personally. Their decision to quit, even suddenly, may not have anything for you.
Just for the record, whenever I get a new staff, I always tell them what to expect and what my life consists.
It may take some time to realize that the job isn’t the right fit for them.
Nothing else I can do in that case.
Life rolls on.
